Starting on Monday, September 6, 2010 (at 4:00 in the morning, so technically Sunday, September 5), I started taking a picture of something that made me happy every day. My Project Happiness 365 started as a proactive act on my part to ward off deep depression. It was spurred by heartbreak as an effort to pull myself out of the wreckage, but now it's fueled by gratitude and a desire to find the beauty in everyday, "mundane" life. This is my honest, vulnerable journey from Hot Mess to Winning. I hope this helps. Oh, and if you're in pain, good; that means you put your whole heart into something. And if you think it won't ever get better, I promise it will. Here's my proof.

10. I’m Cheap and Easy


So the other day I was walking and overthinking like I am bound to do. And out loud I started saying, “What am I supposed to do. Blah blah blah.” Just talking aloud to myself balancing the options in my life. And then this really calming breeze of wind came and washed over me, as if the Universe was saying, “Hey, chill.” Things like that happen every day. You just have to listen. So I chilled and I was much happier after.

Today was a good day. (This seems to be a recurring line in my blogs. A leitmotif, perhaps? Ew, vocab. plug). Joan taught Jazz III today, and it was amazing. Yes, I got my butt kicked but I found so many things to be proud of. For example my fan kick improved throughout the class. GO ME! I may have missed the entire combination but I improved my FAN KICK. I also noticed an increase in flexibility. Holla! Like in the stretch of the beaver splits where you spread your legs, the one Sister thinks only 8th grade girls can do (I SHALL PROVE YOU WRONG BEFORE I DIE). Well usually I have a pretty hard time keeping a flat back while staying grounded in my Sitz bones (is that how you spell that? Help me out, dancers. Twussy?!) But today I stayed up. Yes, it felt like someone was lighting a fire in my hip flexor but I didn’t care! I was IMPROVING. And I did double pirouettes without falling. Joan said, “Four is the new three,” but um… FOUR?! Jesus F! Maybe on Thursday. POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. I WILL DEFY PHYSICS. Hah-cha-cha. Man, is that how you spell that? I’m having a spelling mid-life crisis tonight. Is that a thing?

Well then the rest of the day. I vocalized and I worked out. And I had a super long phone convo with Jian Li which was super nice. I love her, and I miss her terribly. I love you a lot, Jian (if you read this). Oh and I found out someone is being rude to Leah, my littlest precious sister. And if you have met my sister you may be thinking, as I am, ‘How can anyone be rude to Leah??!’ My answer: I DON’T KNOW. So if you have the time, you should remind Leah how awesome she is. And if you are unaware of how awesome Leah is, look at some of the pictures she has posted of herself on facebook. There are some GEMS. She can cross one eye. That is impressive AND hilarious. Check it out.

Oh. And I came home to the SWEETEST post-it on my desk. Thank you. You brightened my night. And I put you on my wall of kind post-its.

Ok enough gambling for today (in this instance gambling=gay rambling). Here’s the picture.

“I’M CHEAP & EASY”. God, what a pick-up line. If I had a nickel for every time that pick-up line has worked on me I’d have -.05 cents and a black eye. What?! Who knows. Use your imagy. (Imagy is a cuter form of the word imagination). James, what?! Oh me and my gambling.

“I don’t wanna be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately. All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind. I’m tired of looking ’round wondering what I gotta do or who I’m supposed to be. I don’t wanna be anyone other than me.”
~”I Don’t Wanna Be” by Gavin Degraw

OH MY HECK I LOVE YOU. Oh, and do you guys know that in Usher’s song O.M.G. he says, “Oh my gosh.” And then he says “boobies”. Just. Be aware. God, I hope Usher doesn’t read this. If he does: Usher, you’re super cool and I respect your choice to say gosh but when you say “boobies” it makes me giggle. But I guess that moreso reflects the 8 year-old boy who will be eternally trapped inside me.



Comments on: "10. I’m Cheap and Easy" (2)

  1. Hah-cha-cha.

  2. LOL, i love that you incorporated “leitmotif” into this. also, i love you.

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