Starting on Monday, September 6, 2010 (at 4:00 in the morning, so technically Sunday, September 5), I started taking a picture of something that made me happy every day. My Project Happiness 365 started as a proactive act on my part to ward off deep depression. It was spurred by heartbreak as an effort to pull myself out of the wreckage, but now it's fueled by gratitude and a desire to find the beauty in everyday, "mundane" life. This is my honest, vulnerable journey from Hot Mess to Winning. I hope this helps. Oh, and if you're in pain, good; that means you put your whole heart into something. And if you think it won't ever get better, I promise it will. Here's my proof.

OK. This picture gives me mixed feelings. But it must all begin with a story. I’ll start at the end, with the picture:

OK. That’s a trampoline in the garbage. Let me start at the beginning. Ok. I’ve blogged about this before. But there is this guy that lives near us. I see him all the time when I’m walking home. He’ll be outside his house with this trampoline. He jumps up and down on this baby trampoline while he punches and kicks at this punching bag hanging on the side of his house. I’ve blogged about how awesome I think he is. He’s always jammin’ to some radio and punchin’ and kickin’ like a mad man. One day, he told me he liked my sunglasses. One day, Scott was eating an egg sandwich and he guy pointed and laughed at him. Anyway, I used to laugh so hard cuz he just seemed so out of place. But I admire him for being so fierce, doin’ what he do. Well, today I’m walking home with Katie and I saw this in the trash can. HE THREW OUT HIS TRAMPOLINE. That doesn’t make me happy. But the memories do. And if this truly marks the end of his crazy jumping and kicking, I think he deserves a blog post, for all the times he’s made me laugh. And I’ve really looked forward to seeing him GET IT on his baby trampoline. This is a tribute to you, Mr. Dude.

Here are the funny/awesome things that happened today…:

1) I went to Zumba and afterwards, I was so fuckin’ sweaty that my shirt was a different color. A completely different color. I liked the new sweaty color better. Also, today I was so fatigued during dance that I was shaking. But I kept pushing myself to keep going. And at the end of the day, PROJECT SIX PACK IS LOOKIN’ GOOD. Hallefuckinluiah.
2) Today, I overheard this conversation…
Andy: God, this girls nipples are so big.
Kaitlin: Ew!
Meagan: I HATE big nipples.
Andy: They’re like pancakes.
(Me: Oh my god, I want pancakes so bad right now.)
I’m still laughing at the whole ordeal.
3) Today one of my lady friends was a bit sweaty. She was sitting in a chair and she suddenly said, “Do I smell??” Then she proceeded to waft the air between her legs up to her face. Then she said, “Excuse me while I waft my gine.” I’ll never say who said this but I’m still laughing.
4) Today someone said this to: “You have an energy all of your own, and you bring it to every dance class. And you affect the people around you.” Thank you 🙂 That made me smile.

I figured out why I was so upset (with the help of Stacy)! It’s … a bit inappropriate for my blog so just ask me about it and I’ll tell you, if you’re curious. (I promised to tell my story only.)

I used to be ELATED to eat Raisin Bran Crunch. I moan while I eat ice cream. I’m gonna get back to that.

OH. I almost forgot. You taught me that I could love someone more than that. I thought that I could never love someone more than that. And you proved me wrong. It’s possible to love someone that much. It’s a lesson that has been indispensable in my life. I am so grateful.

Keep giving away the love, James. I rub my heart every morning to remind myself to love. Keep loving, James.

“I’ve got a thick tongue brimming with the words that go unsung.”
~”Gonna Get Over You” by Sara Bareilles



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