Starting on Monday, September 6, 2010 (at 4:00 in the morning, so technically Sunday, September 5), I started taking a picture of something that made me happy every day. My Project Happiness 365 started as a proactive act on my part to ward off deep depression. It was spurred by heartbreak as an effort to pull myself out of the wreckage, but now it's fueled by gratitude and a desire to find the beauty in everyday, "mundane" life. This is my honest, vulnerable journey from Hot Mess to Winning. I hope this helps. Oh, and if you're in pain, good; that means you put your whole heart into something. And if you think it won't ever get better, I promise it will. Here's my proof.

351. Cuz Grandpa Says So

I was looking over my cards last night and I really like my card from my grandpa:

Some people I talk to think that moving to New York is courageous. I think it’s really the only sensible thing to do. I have dreams. I won’t sit here and keep dreaming when I have the ability to go get what the fuck I want.

(Just so everyone knows, I received some awesome cards from a lot people! Stacy’s mom gave me a really nice card telling me she believes in me. My voice teacher, Wendy, gave me a card telling me, “You are winning”. They were all amazing. But my grandpa’s really hit me as relevant.)

My grandpa says this to me every time he sees me in a show, “It was great, but you better hurry up and make it to Broadway. With my record, I don’t have much time left.” Once, after he said this to me, I went to my mom all weepy and told her this. She rolled her eyes and laughed; she said, “James, he’s been saying stuff like that since he turned 40.”

Broadway isn’t really me end goal, grandpa, but I’m working on it. And you told me to. So. I blame you.

Oh my god. “Me end goal”. Awesome typos for the win.

You should really learn to laugh instead of fume. Sometimes people treat me like crap when I’m waiting tables. But I tell the story to people, and their rudeness is just ridiculous. It’s so laughable. And you’ll live longer if you laugh. So laugh god damnit.

Ps I’m going to Texas tomorrow.

PSS I plan on making a manifesto on How To Treat Waitstaff. Not to be rude, but I just think a lot of people legitimately don’t know what it’s like to wait tables. And they should know. It’ll be informative. Perhaps a bit sassy, but just because I want to hear you laugh.

PSSS Will someone kindly teach me how to wear a slutty swimsuit? Like, where do I put everything? I feel like I need a knapsack AND a slutty swimsuit… how does it all fit?!?! God, I need help. Like this:

…does my body do that? But look how cute it is, there’s a belt! So classy AND skanky at the same time. God bless the designer of this swimsuit. I just feel like I need to give a swimsuit like this a test run. Who’s with me?

Well, my bizarro is back and winning as ever.

I love you. With all my heart.

“What would life be like if we had no courage to attempt anything?”
~Van Gogh



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