Starting on Monday, September 6, 2010 (at 4:00 in the morning, so technically Sunday, September 5), I started taking a picture of something that made me happy every day. My Project Happiness 365 started as a proactive act on my part to ward off deep depression. It was spurred by heartbreak as an effort to pull myself out of the wreckage, but now it's fueled by gratitude and a desire to find the beauty in everyday, "mundane" life. This is my honest, vulnerable journey from Hot Mess to Winning. I hope this helps. Oh, and if you're in pain, good; that means you put your whole heart into something. And if you think it won't ever get better, I promise it will. Here's my proof.

361. Love Comes

I went out the other night with Amanda to the Gritty Titty (formerly known as the Nitty Gritty). I grabbed my camera and I took a picture of us:

I take a lot of pictures of random shit: food, signs, quotes, stuff I find on the street. But sometimes, happiness is a more obvious answer: friends. Friendship makes me happy. People who love me make me happy. People who miss me make me happy. People who have always loved me make me happy.

I get scared about love. (I know I’ve said this before.) I personally haven’t made it through a boyfriend-relationship that lasted longer than 9 months. I get to the nine month part and it just dies. Well, it died before then but then I decide I’ve had enough. So. 3 times I’ve made it to 9 months and had a dead relationship. It’s really a fact. You can debate me tirelessly and I shan’t back down. So. I’ve lost a bit of faith in relationships. But what about this one, for example? I’ve known her since… 5th or 6th grade? Maybe 7th? Well, we dated in 7th grade. (Yes, a young Gay is a confused Gay.) And although we aren’t still dating, we still love each other. And so it’s been… 10+ years.

And that’s just one of my extremely long relationships (Stacy, Caity, Jian Li, Maribeth).

Love doesn’t die after 9 months. It can, but it doesn’t have to. Sometimes, it lasts a long time. And all it takes is faith.

“Can you hear that hopeful heart?”
~ “Happiness” by The Weepies.

LOVE.

JAMES.

4 days. 🙂

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